WALLACE
If she’s stupid, then it’s one thing.
WILHELMINA
Right.
WALLACE
If she’s stupid, then that’s fine, but if she’s unappreciative of her lover—
WILHELMINA
She didn’t say that, though.
WALLACE
I mean, that’s the way it looks.
WILHELMINA
Right.
WALLACE
Yeah, you have amazing stories. And she never said anything?
WILHELMINA
No.
WALLACE
That’s wild. For doing that? She’s a Mother Teresa. She should become a monk — uh, a nun — and go work in a monastery.
WILHELMINA
I don’t, like, have any sympathy for her situation, though.
WALLACE
The phone call?
WILHELMINA
If she made a call and said she’s seeing her professor, people would run. They’d run and believe it.
WALLACE
It’s one thing to be working at this small company with these guys—
WILHELMINA
But she deals with it all the time. In school and at, um, that place.
WALLACE
I think she’s a bit of a hypo — uh, hypo — masochist. Hypochondriac.
WILHELMINA
Right.
WALLACE
She loves complaining and feeling sick. Sometimes you have to fill out forms with an allergy sheet? You know?
WILHELMINA
Yeah.
WALLACE
She should just put down anything!
WILHELMINA
And she has a ready-made excuse. Any time she’s stressed and needs an excuse, she should just say, “I have a teenage son at home.” A ready-made excuse.
WALLACE
That’s hilarious.
WILHELMINA
Yeah. My one friend — this guy. He told all my friends they had to pay him pack for the car insurance he owed. Like they owed him money or something.
WALLACE
They didn’t?
WILHELMINA
No.
WALLACE
Didn’t you say he had a really nice car too? A really nice apartment?
WILHELMINA
Yeah.
WALLACE
Why can’t he afford it?
WILHELMINA
He didn’t say. He just wants them to pay it for him.
WALLACE
Wow, that’s wild. That’s hilarious.